ubreakable

Leonardo Da Vista

2007-03-01T02:11:00.000-08:00

Who was Leonardo Da Vista....?

He was the secret retarded brother of da Vinci. He was the polar opposite from Master Da Vinci.

It seems that all genius was taken by Da Vinci... and all the worse traits were left to Da Vista (have you seen the "Twins" with Schwarzenegger and DeVito?)http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096320/

He was obese, slow, shallow, a bully, and stupid.

He had a irritating character that questioned everything you said, snapping back with a nervous tick motion, crying out with a scary voice UUAAAACCCCKKKK!!!! (UAC)

He was very obese and ugly. They needed to reconstruct the doors of his house, just so he could fit through. He needed special reinforced chairs and beds and his horse had to be changed every month or else it would die from exhaustion (vista bloat & hardware requirements)

He was slow to catch on to something you told him.. he would look you with a stupid gaze wondering for moments what you meant. (vista sluggishness)

He had some sort of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, needing to meticulously keep track of everything in too much detail.. even if that meant being terrible insufficient in all other tasks. Often he would be restless in the night.. counting things again and again without stop. (indexing)

He was dangerous.. and of unstable character... rejecting things just because he felt like it (incompatibility).. often he would turn blue from anger (BSoD) when something happened that he did not like.

He wanted to enforce a monarchy over all other people, even though he had no credentials of being a true leader.... (ms monopoly).

He lacked any ideas of his own, rather he would steal ideas of others, rename them and call them his own. (MS making their versions of products, programs and services of competitors)

For his low quality services he would ask for unreasonable amounts of money as fees. (vista price tag)

He has a group of hideous missionary goblin soldiers (lawyers) that would hunt down all those who did not pay.

He was disliked by many, yet his nice clothes persuaded some of the feeble minded folk to follow him as a leader. (glass aero design of vista=superficial eye candy of no real value)

Why have you not ever heard of Leonardo Da Vista? He was erased from history due to shame.....

The same shame that will erase Vista from the computer history books of the future.

Year 3026: The last working computer on Earth

2007-02-23T19:03:00.000-08:00

It is year 3026, and the Earth is in a bad shape.

After the 50 kilometer asteroid hit the earth, a global winter that lasted 200 years fell upon the Earth.

Hunger and famine struck, and then something worse.. War.. a devastating war for the little resources of the world. Who would have the little food left? What technology was left from the destruction from the asteroid was wiped out with the nuclear blasts that emitted electrmagnetic pulses destroying all microprocessors. (see reference= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electromagnetic_pulse)

Humanity had lost almost everything, technology, knowledge, and the population was dwindling to only a few million.

However despite all despair some youth had hope for the future that a working computer will be found from the old days, and technology will be rebuilt. These dreams were soon to come true!
It seems that a submarine that had an onboard computer was trapped underwater when the asteroid struck the earth was frozen inside the ices that covered the earth… It seems that these heavy sheets of ice protected the computer from the neutron blasts and left the microprocessors intact!

Now after the winter was gone and the ice was starting to melt the submarine was rediscovered and the computer salvaged…. After10 years of study… humans were able to reconstruct a power source so they can turn on this computer... at last they would be able to tap into the ancient knowledge of humanity before the catastrophy and rebuild the future…

In a stadium full of 5000 people the computer would be turned on. A gigantic mirror would show the image of the screen to all the people… and a new era would begin.

Jenop Pushed the power button, his hand trembling with anxiousness, he was the one who was chosen to turn on the computer! In fact he also was the one who found a few other parts for this machine that were missing.

After a few moments a green and blue screen showed with a round symbol… and music was heard throughout the stadium!

IT WAS WORKING!!!! 2 enigmatic Words appeared in front of Jenop’s eyes.. shimmering with beauty…

WINDOWS VISTA

"At LAST!" Jenop thought.. "At last humanity would be saved, civilization would be rebuilt, people would start learning again, and there would be no more hunger and pain!!! "

Then suddenly an annoying sound honked, and strange message appeared.

"Error, your system configuration has changed. You cannot log in to Windows unless you activate your copy of Windows Vista"

"Do you wish to activate by the internet or phone a Microsoft representative?"

WHO THE HELL IS MICROSOFT??????????????

Star Trek Vista

2007-01-25T20:08:00.000-08:00

Authors note: Part 1 of this story was originally posted on a vista newsgroup as a comic relief. This story is original... and some accusations of plagiarism lead me to write part 2 too!

Part 1 The discovery of the time capsule

Data: We were able to retrieve this time capsule that was launched into space a few hours before World War III started.

It was a probe with ion propulsion and its intention was to preserve all the information from the global computer network they called the "internet".
It had crashed on this large asteroid.

Picard: This discovery is of monumental value... all information of that ancient network had been thought as lost! Have you been able to retrieve the data?

Data: No Sir. Only a decade after its launch the galaxy's core went into its unstable radiant neutron phase, and this was not known by the scientists of the era, so they did not give the space vehicle the proper shielding to preserve data.

We were able only to retrieve small portions of it.

Picard: Well what did you find?

Data: the first data we were able to get was from a newsgroup, a conversation network with people posting message in written text format, talking about a operating system called Vista.

Picard: Vista? You got to be kidding.

Data: I am incapable of kidding you Captain.

Picard: I know Data, I know... its surprising to see that you found these people talking about the very reason that the war started...What are they saying?

Data: The data we have is at a time a few days this operating system was to be released. Some people are praising it Sir, as something nice or good for humanity.

Picard: Yes... they could not see the future and the impact this software would have on the world then.
Is ANYONE expressing concern of any kind? Its hard to believe that no one had any foresight!

Data: There are a few people in this conversation that are expressing concern, some even predict some of the problems that indeed were true, but for some reason the other people who want this "Vista" have a universal name for all of them.

Picard: What is it?

Data: Troll Sir. I do not understand why they are calling them a mythological humanoid, but it is apparent that they find pleasure in doing so.

Picard: It is a shame that all these people died soon after the release of that Operating System...

Data: Indeed Sir, it was a very badly designed program, our historians have counted 1 million mistakes in the code.

Picard: This was what the Borg took advantage of.... its a sad story... oh Data, please.....

Data: Sir?

Picard: Make sure that the Enterprise's computers are not contaminated by any of that Vista code that may have leaked into the time capsule, please. We dont need any trouble with the borg again.

Data: Indeed Sir....

part 2 Romulans everywhere

Star Trek> vindication of plagiarism
Authors Note: Some people in the newsgroup this story was originally posted on, claimed that I have read a similar story somewhere with older characters (kirk spock) and just changed it... Since I do not take such accusations of plagiarism lightly and to prove to you that the above story is original..I will continue... and I challenge you can find ANYTHING like this!-----

Holodeck1:

Data: Captain, we have successfully replicated a computer of that era and placed it into an isolation chamber in there we have loaded all the remaining data from the crashed time capsule.

Jordi: The containment field will keep this computer totally isolated from all our computer systems so we can study the remaining data from the ancient internet, including what seems to be a fully intact copy of the Vista OS.

Picard: You have actually found an intact copy of Vista???

Data: Affirmative Sir.

The creators of the capsule were not aware at the moment that Vista was the cause of the Borg attacks. So they thought that they should preserve various software and among them is Vista.

Picard: I want you to take extra care in handling this Vista.. if the Borg can detect it, we may be putting us in unwarranted danger. What else did you find?

Jordi: Captain we are trying to make sense of a strange language we found in the records we were able to retrieve.

Picard: What kind of language? Is it not one of the known human languages?

Data: I have stored in my positronic brain all human languages Sir, along with thousands of alien ones. This does not correspond to any of them. The sounds are rather intriguing!

Picard: Like what?

Data: sounds something like this: "google yahoo youtube ....google yahoo youtube"

Picard: Perhaps its some chant of some sort?

Jordi: Perhaps, when we retrieve more information we will know....

Worf from the Bridge on Picards COM: Captain a Romulan warship has just decloked!

Picard: Data, To the bridge.

Now on the Bridge

Worf: They are ignoring our hailing and are powering up their weapons!

Riker: Red Alert!

Picard: Why here, why now? Perhaps they detected the signal of the time capsule when we reactivated it?

Data: Quite possible

Worf: They are transmitting visuals...

Picard: On screen

Romulan high commander: Enterprise, we know you have retrieved the Borg weapon, and we want you to send it to us now or be destroyed!

Picard moved his hand across his neck, indicating to Worf to cut the sound of the channel " Data, do you think that they may have mistaken the time capsule as a Borg weapon for some reason?"

Data: It is quite possible, since the Romulans were monitoring the earth while the Borg attack started world war III and at that same time this time capsule was launched and started sending out the signal. They may have thought that this device was some kind of Borg weapon! It does in fact contain the vista, that was the Trojan horse that allowed the Borg to start the destruction on earth.

Picard: Worf, do we have any advantage over them?

Worf: Sir their ship is very heavily armed... if we engage in battle we will probably perish but it will be an honorable death.

Picard: Worf enable communications "Romulan vessel, you leave us no other option, as you know we humans care for life too much, if we give you what you want will you agree to leave us with no further hostilities?"

Romulan high commander: Agreed Enterprise, you are wise to acknowledge our superiority

Picard: Jordi... listen carefully, I want you to transmit all of the Vista code, DIRECTLY to their main computer. They want it?... LET THEM HAVE IT!!!!

Jordi: Aye SIR!........ TRANSMISSION COMPLETE!

Worf: Shields, weapon systems, and life support are failing on the enemy warship!!!

Picard: Now I have you where I want you, Jordi, beam them directly to cargo bay 2, Worf get a security team over there at once!

After the crisis was over

Data: Captain, your strategy was intriguing... how did you know that Vista would disable the enemy warship?

Picard: Data, you forget that I love reading history. Vista has gone down in history, as the most buggy badly written software of all times! If it could start a world war and destroy a planet... it could surely disable a warship :-)-

THE END

PS TRY FINDING THAT somewhere else!!! HAHAHAHAHA

How to cook an egg with 2 mobile phones

2006-06-19T13:51:00.000-07:00

How Two Russian Journalists Cooked an Egg with their Mobile Phones

Vladimir Lagovski and Andrei Moiseynko from Komsomolskaya Pravda Newspaper in Moscow decided to learn first-hand how harmful cell phones are. There is no magic in cooking with your cell phone. The secret is in the radio waves that the cell phone radiates. The journalists created a simple microwave structure as shown in the picture. They called from one cell phone to the other and left both phones on talking mode. They placed a tape recorder next to phones to imitate sounds of speaking so the phones would stay on.

After, 15 minutes: The egg became slightly warm.
25 minutes: The egg became very warm.
40 minutes: The egg became very hot.
65 minutes: The egg was cooked. (As you can see.)

Conclusion ..1: Cooking eggs with mobile phones is possible but very expensive ($4.55 or 123 Rubles)

Conclusion ..2: All this talk of danger is exaggerated; even if your brain gets cooked, it would take a couple hours of talking on a cell phone. Conclusion ..

3: We dont recommend carrying cell phone in your pants.

Pink and the Indigo Girls > Dear Mr. President

2006-04-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

Interesting....

This is a wonderful song I stumbled upon..
I never heard of this Pink girl... lol even her hair is pink...
At least this song has a quality of an older generation...
Good to see :-)

Related links: http://www.pinkspage.com/
http://music.yahoo.com/ar-295725-bio--Pink
http://www.answers.com/topic/pink-singer
http://www.nabou.com/celebrities/pink/pink_biography.html

PINK from the album I'M NOT DEAD (2006)

"Dear Mr. President"
(feat. Indigo Girls)

Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pay the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

ubreakable

Leonardo Da Vista

Year 3026: The last working computer on Earth

Star Trek Vista

How to cook an egg with 2 mobile phones

Pink and the Indigo Girls > Dear Mr. President

Top Posting Vs. Bottom Posting: Case Closed!